People can be generalized and I do not like doing that, but I have noticed that there are two types of people that I want to talk about today. Keeping in mind that even if you are a giver, or a taker, there are so many other things about you, your personality, your character that make you who you are as a whole. So while I may seem generalizing in the following post, I want to make it clear I do not think the sum of our whole comes down to the following:
The Two Types:
There are the givers. Then there are the takers. Now before you jump to conclusions, I want to state that both of these types of people have a great value in our world. Takers can also be very giving, but it is what drives them to do so that is so different from the natural giver.
The natural giver will often be in areas of work that revolve around helping others, from nursing, even to your secretarial workers. They may be firefighters or even lawyers. It all depends on what drives them to do what they do. You will also find that many takers also thrive in the same areas of work! Givers however will extend their giving over into their day to day lives, and often are also considered easy to take advantage of, walk all over even. While takers generally seem to be more out for themselves, only giving when there is a benefit to themselves. Yet the taker also seems to have a stronger sense of self at times, and not needing the approval of others, so people often view them as “stronger” people. The fact is however, these can be major misconceptions!
The taker often in fact does not have a strong sense of self, therefore their “taker” mentality can be a wall they have built up for self protection. The giver on the other hand can have a very clear sense of self, and just enjoy the feeling of doing for others! Yet still, we see many giver types being taken for grated, and many taker types sinking deeper into their survival techniques to the point where it seems they are nothing more than selfish, and shallow.
Identifying Your “Type”:
Do you often feel compelled to help others for no reason, often without even being asked to do for someone else?
Do people come to you in times of need?
Do strangers ask for advice?
Do you care deeply for people with disabilities, the homeless, elderly, animals, and so forth?
Do you do more than you need to in a day for others?
Do you sometimes handicap others from doing for them, even if it would benefit for them to do for themselves?
Do you feel overwhelmed at times with your various roles in life?
Do you forgo your own needs sometimes for the needs of those you care about?
Do you put a great deal of thought into others needs, and wants?
Do you like to give gifts?
Do you give gifts that you personally like or do you give gifts you know the recipient will like?
Are you an optimist?
Do you sometimes overwhelm your loved ones with your own worries?
Do you look at the benefit to yourself before doing something for another?
Do you ask, or think to ask if there is payment involved when a friend or family member asks for assistance?
Do you often think that there is some ulterior motive behind things people ask of you to do?
Do you only think of your own needs when preparing for the next day?
Do you often feel cynical about people in need?
Do you avoid discussion about topics that involve serious matters?
Do you have a carefree attitude and not worry about the little things?
Do you connect well on an emotional level with extended family and friends?
Do you always make sure you have your own needs taken care of before assisting another person?
Do you put off giving gifts to show affection or care toward another?
Do you give gifts that you personally like or do you give gifts that you know the recipient will like?
Are you a pessimist?
Do people avoid asking your advice or opinion?
Since no two people are ever the same you may tick many boxes in both of the two above sections. People have many shades of grey about them. However if you have noticed that you ticked a lot more within one category than the other you should be able to identify your “type”. If you checked about an equal amount in both categories than you are either a very well balanced person or the items you are checking will be blaring contradictions which may mean you need to spend a little more time thinking about the questions, and getting more in touch with your own feelings on these matters.
What Does It Mean?
Being a Giver or a Taker does have positive and negative qualities! Neither one is better than the other.
As for the taker, as they say before a flight takes off, make sure you have your own air mask on first. The truth is you can’t save others if you can’t save yourself. Often the Giver gets stuck being so busy and overwhelmed helping others they end up drowning, figuratively speaking of course. While the Taker has their head above water. On the other hand, as a Taker you want to make sure you are not so self absorbed that your family, and friends, do not have their needs met by you to some degree.
It is my hopes that you were able to tick a few selections out of both categories but can still clearly tell which one you primarily fit into.
The Taker is cautious, and while sometimes overly cynical, they rarely are taken for a ride, or taken advantage of. The Giver often will find themselves feeling used, which leads them to feeling hurt, or worse, resentful of others.
There needs to be a healthy balance within each of us. We should strive to find the best qualities of each type of person, and meld them into a new category!
What would you call this new “Type” of person, this new category? Please comment below with your thoughts on this article, and what you would name the perfect “type”.