Home » enlightenment » Should You Stay In Your Lane?

The term Stay In Your Lane may be somewhat new but the idea is not. People have told us to live by a set of rules for ages. As children, when coloring we were told to stay in the lines. To me, these things are just another form of segregation. When someone tells me to Stay In Your Lane, I cringe. I instantly become offended. Then I draw back and feel sorry for the person who told me to do that. Clearly, they have been limited in their own lives. These people are just passing down the torch of narrowmindedness.

Should You Stay In Your Lane

Even in the blogging world, we are told to pick a small handful of topics to write about. From the marketing aspect, this is a good point. We want to draw a readership. The best way to do this is by having a niche we specialize in. On the other hand, one reason I became a writer, to begin with, was to share everything going on in my mind. Sorry but I am by no means capable of juggling a different blog for each topic of interest to me.

Sometimes the term “Stay In Your Lane” is used when someone speaks out on a topic they have limited knowledge about. I get it, sometimes we do need to defer to someone with more expertise on a subject matter. A wise person knows when to back down and let those in the know speak. When it comes to opinion, however, we are all equally entitled.

Stay In Your Lane can also be tossed out when infringing upon another person’s limelight.

What do you think? Should we stay in our lanes or try as much as we can?

However the phrase is used, whenever it is used, more often than not I refuse to agree with it.

As a child, I was all over the place. Even into my teens and early 20’s I had to experience everything I could. Perhaps I had ADD, back then we had little knowledge of such things. What I do know is that I had no concept of what a lane was, let alone an ability to stay in one.

I have had my share of career success, depending on what defines success. Am I wealthy? No far from it. Could I have been under different life circumstances? Probably so. As someone who was a pioneer in their profession, before I took a soft retirement from it, I paved the road for others.

I think in many aspects of my life I opened doors for others to follow through and succeed. For that, I do consider myself successful. I have always been involved in service work in one fashion or another.

Where is this article going? What is my point? My point is you can swerve, dodge, and turn any direction you want to in life. Changing lanes as many times as it may take to find yourself, to define yourself.

If you were born destined for a specific purpose, more power to you. Most of us are not so blessed. So many people today are still looking for their “passion” in life. They feel less than for not knowing what it is.

I do not want anyone to feel less than for taking time to explore their interests. Never allow anyone to tell you that you can’t color outside of the lines. If you look through history, it was those who challenged rules that opened up possibilities for the rest of the world.

One thing you will find here on Fashion Beyond Forty is diversity. I write what I feel passionate about and that can change from day to day.

So there is a saying that goes: Stay In Your Lane, and another saying that implies we can not understand another person until we walk in their shoes. I prefer the second saying. Trying as many things as I can in life. I want to know what it is like to walk in someone else’s shoes. While I am comfortable in my lane, since I paved it myself, I do not want to stay in my lane only.

What do you think? Do you believe one should find a lane and stay in it? Do you think we should experience as much as we can?



  1. March 14, 2017 / 10:54 am

    Having a few women in my life who are over 40, they’ve always stayed true to their values.
    Sure, they’ve changed hairstyles (and what woman hasn’t?), they have, as far back as I can
    remember, been their own woman. Being true to one’s self is a valuable asset, and I appreciate
    you writing about this for those that feel they don’t have a choice

    • March 14, 2017 / 11:05 am

      I am so glad that you have strong women in your life! Thank you I hope that my article helps someone out there.

  2. March 14, 2017 / 11:31 am

    I think it’s absurb to stay in a lane. A person experiences multiple things, emotions in a day. These experiences mold us in different ways. I also keep reading to stick to a niche for better readership but whats the point when u only share one part of you and not the other.

    • March 14, 2017 / 2:17 pm

      I agree Ayesha! Sure we can perhaps NARROW our niche. I know when I started my blog I was TOO narrow so I branched out then I was way too widespread lol I think I found the place I am happy now. Without all the experimentation however I would not be happy! We deserve the right to try different things.

  3. March 14, 2017 / 12:02 pm

    I am a strong woman. With that being said, I do think depending on the circumstance there can be “too many cooks in the kitchen”. I have used the term stay in your own lane because often times when you have a leader for a project and someone tries to give feedback, they are often giving feedback when it is not necessary (aka – they are trying to take over). I like your perspective too! 🙂

    • March 14, 2017 / 2:15 pm

      I agree – I think knowing our place in a work situation is important. There is a difference between blatantly trying to take over and someone simply eager to help through ideas. We can always tell which is which right? lol I think when it comes to a personal level however being expressive, trying new things, not being afraid to take a chance is important.

  4. March 14, 2017 / 2:26 pm

    I’ve always had trouble with it, personally. And I love the “stay within the lines” metaphor for coloring, because my mom is an art teacher and she always says, “Color OUTSIDE the lines!” My husband always says that you have to step outside your own footprints (comfort zone) which makes me think of not staying in my lane.

    • March 15, 2017 / 12:26 am

      Tamara – I bet your mother is a colorful person! I am glad that she encouraged you to be expressive. I love the way your husband puts it too. Outside your own footprints is such a lovely way to say this!

  5. March 14, 2017 / 2:58 pm

    I have to admit, when I came across this post, saw the huge fonts and then the wording about ‘Stay in your lane’, I thought we were going to have an awesome post about car drivers and how stupid they are on the road! 😀 But after reading this, I am the type of guy who doesnt usually think of things like this, but after getting my head around this, I like your perspective, all these experiences mold us into the person we are at the end of the day. I hope I make sense. 😀
    Danik recently posted…Castles to check out whilst in LuxembourgMy Profile

    • March 15, 2017 / 12:25 am

      Hahaha!!! So sorry to mislead – it was not intentional but that is rather funny. I can totally see how you could think that. Also you make PERFECT sense! I love what you said and I agree!

  6. March 14, 2017 / 4:39 pm

    I feel a one lane highway will get you NO WHERE! Git it on girl!

  7. March 14, 2017 / 6:27 pm

    As someone who quit her job, completely changed careers, moved across the country (twice), and is thriving, I can definitely say changing lanes can be AMAZING. It may be uncertain, perhaps a little scary, and may even seem crazy to everyone around you (maybe even yourself sometimes,) but if you’re following your heart, it can truly lead to a happier life. Thanks for sharing! 🙂

    • March 15, 2017 / 12:21 am

      I agree Miriam! Success is much sweeter when some risk was involved. Failure is always something to learn from and should not even be considered failure as much as a manner in which we grow!

  8. March 14, 2017 / 8:34 pm

    I definitely don’t believe in staying in your lane. Even in school I hated being pigeon holed into a certain “group” or stereotype. The more things we try the better we become as people and a society! Vere far away from the lane as possible is what I say!

  9. March 15, 2017 / 3:25 am

    I think we should experience as much as we can! I only just worked out what I wanted to do with my life last year at 33. And like you I blog about everything. My niche is lifestyle, and my life can be chaotic with 2 kids under 3, so my blog matches that. I blog about things from Buddhism and meditation to cosmetics, kids, and everything in between. Great blog! You write so well, it is effortless to read your work.

    • March 15, 2017 / 5:00 pm

      Good for you Leah! Thank you so much for your compliment. That means the world to me. I also enjoy your blog very much and love that it is eclectic and focuses on cruelty free items!

  10. Ali Rost
    March 15, 2017 / 5:04 pm

    Such a great post. For the longest time I struggled with this .. mainly because I was a people-pleaser. It was easier for me to do what was expected rather than going against the grain. That all changed a few years ago when I started my blog. I started speaking my mind more (in kind ways) and it felt great. Not (at times) though to some of the people around me. When the people pleaser steps down from her role .. certainly no one is pleased. As with everything in life .. it’s a journey. Thank-you for the conversation!

    • March 15, 2017 / 6:04 pm

      Thank YOU for the great comment. I am sure many can learn a lot from you! People pleasers are kind generous wonderful people but easily get stepped on and taken advantage of! Once you step out of that role people do not know how to respond! Finding balance is key which I am sure you have come to know. Blogging is a hard job! It takes guts, determination, and self monitoring to say the least. I am sure it has helped you grow a lot. It IS a journey for sure! I am so glad you are in the right place FOR YOU now. I found once I was happier others around me were as well, even if they were not getting their every need met before they even HAD a need lol

  11. March 15, 2017 / 11:53 pm

    I don’t like to stay in the lane, I hate it to be in a sort of group or how people used to label others at high school. I think we as everything we can bloom in other aspects of course some are betters at one thing than others but we should definitely try it at least ones
    Josselyn Radillo recently posted…Workout… with ZAFUL SPORT!My Profile

  12. March 16, 2017 / 5:56 am

    Very inspirational! Personally, I feel it is necessary to get out of the one lane thought. Life is so full of changes and ups and downs. We really don’t know when we will be hit with bumps so we should do whatever is necessary to enjoy our lives.
    Bismah recently posted…Create your First Video with AminotoMy Profile

    • March 16, 2017 / 11:57 am

      Indeed and by doing so I feel we are better prepared to handle obstacles!

  13. March 16, 2017 / 5:58 pm

    I haven’t heard this phrase before except as a road sign, and then I follow it. But, I agree with you, it is interesting and healthy to diversify, try new directions and encompass all that you love.
    Beth Patterson recently posted…Spotlight: The Broke Dog | Henry & RochelleMy Profile

    • March 16, 2017 / 11:20 pm

      Indeed diversifying is good for us. Granted I would never want to force someone out of their comfort zone. This has to be an organic thing that is chosen. I think when we do however we can learn a lot about ourselves. I love the way you said it. “Encompass all that you love. ”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

Don’t Miss Out! Subscribe For 2 FREE Gifts!

Looking for Something?