Most of us were raised to never give up.
Quitting a job, or ending a marriage were frowned upon.
We were taught to work hard, keep at it, and do our best at all times.
Sometimes, however, quitting is exactly what we need to do!
The key is knowing when it is the right thing to do.
Sometimes, quitting is better for our health and our wellbeing!
Quitting is not always a bad thing.
Sometimes quitting is just the thing we need to be happy and healthy again!
Everyone’s situation and circumstances are different.
This article may prompt you to quit something you should stick with.
That is not my intention!
There are however some key factors you can look at to determine what you should do.
Regardless of whether is is a job, a marriage, a friendship, or something else these factors all hold true.
The situation causes health issues.
The situation causes emotional issues.
The situation is devaluing or diminishing to you personally.
The situation takes away valuable time from more productive projects, personal time, family, or friends.
This is the most important factor!
The situation poses a danger to you, your loved ones, and quality of life.
The above factors are generalized and need to be considered seriously.
Do not simplify them and apply them to every life situation or you may end up quitting everything you are involved in.
Clearly doing something as basic as playing a game of catch with your kid could potentially be hazardous!
One could easily claim Factor 1 to almost anything if enough fuzzy logic is used.
These factors are not here for you to apply at whim.
They are here to be considered carefully before making a decision to give something up.
Let’s take a look at a case file from my work as a life coach for a better idea of when it is positive to let go:
Names and some details have been changed to protect identities.
Kate has been a client of mine for three years.
I was her life coach when she first entered a mentoring program for her business.
She started out as a newbie, knowing very little about her new business.
Her mentor was wonderful, they were productive, and Kate came a long way in her business.
After two years Kate began to feel her mentor was starting to become jealous of her success.
At first, Kate thought she was being paranoid as her success also was the success of her mentor!
Kate’s mentor would often give her backhanded compliments.
Sometimes she would make derogatory comments about choices Kate was making. The mentor became very controlling.
I worked with Kate on how her mentor was making her feel.
The end result was whether Kate was being paranoid, or if her mentor truly was jealous of her success.
Kate said she was feeling diminished!
At the end of the day, it did not matter what the intentions of her mentor were.
Now it is important that you understand, Kate did try to communicate her feelings to her mentor.
Communication is always key in anything and everything!
After several attempts of failed communication, as working things out is a 2-way street, Kate was ready to throw in the towel.
Kate now knew she had done everything within her control to rectify the situation.
She also no longer felt she was being paranoid!
Once Kate realized her feelings were valid, and that she did not need anyone to validate her feelings outside of self-validation, she was able to look at the situation more clearly.
Kate was then able to address the issue at hand directly with her mentor.
Once Kate realized her mentor was not going to be an equal participant in conflict resolution, Kate knew it was time to move on from her mentor.
In this case scenario, Kate QUIT!
Since quitting her mentoring program, Kate’s business has shot through the roof.
Yes, she did learn some very good techniques from her mentor.
Indeed her business had improved for the first two years with her mentor.
That last year, however, Kate had seen a slump in her own productivity.
Working with her mentor was taking more time and energy than the business itself.
When you see that situations, relationships, your job, or even a hobby have become more work to maintain than the value you get out of them, it is time to take a good hard look at it.
Never just simply walk away!
The exception to this is if there is actual abuse going on!
Start with communication, or at least the attempt to communicate your concerns to the other party, when there is one.
Apply ONE RULE to your life: Everything Should Be VALUE ADDED!
This means that the situation you are in adds value to your life or the life of those you love.
We should never waste time on things that we do not enjoy, do not put food on our tables, or are not helping others.
What we do in life should give us a positive feeling in some way.
If you are facing a situation in your life where you struggle with whether to hang in there or give up please use these 5 Factors.
Use communication when possible and consider the Value Added Rule.
I hope that the 5 Factors and Kate’s situation have helped bring some clarity to you.
Granted Kate’s situation is her own, and your situation may be far different than hers.
The thing about quitting, however, is when you are feeling a need to give up on something the 5 Factors generally work for all things.
I also like to note that many of us deal with mental, emotional, and health issues that may clutter our thinking.
These conditions may cause us to see situations in a way that is far different from the reality of things.
If you suffer from a disease, health concern, mental or emotional illness please speak with your doctor, therapist, or other caretakers before making major life changes or choices!