Well, I guess it’s time to tell you…
I am recently separated.
I may be opening up more and sharing some details about this with you in the future.
For now, I am processing it all for myself.
What I do know is that no matter how much a person may be hurting, the holidays will come.
This past Christmas and New Year did not take a break for me while I was crying a river.
Valentine’s Day will be here soon too.
You may have a friend in a similar situation.
If you know someone who could use a boost please consider…
10 Empowering Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas For The Recently Separated or Divorced
Not all breakups are devastating.
Some couples manage separation and divorce from the same frame of mind.
More often than not, however, someone is left with a shattered heart.
This gift guide is for them.
With these empowering gift ideas, you can help them move forward instead of focusing on what has been lost.
Empowering Gift Ideas:
Help With Chores
Often splits happen at the least convenient of times. Even though your friend may be quite capable of doing things for themselves, they may not be feeling up to doing so. Emotional upset takes a huge toll on a person’s energy levels and frame of mind. Help by shoveling snow for them or just doing some dishes. Whatever they need.
New Wall Decor
Many married couples will have photos with their loved ones on the wall. Removing them can be both painful and empowering. Yet having those blank spaces on the wall is also a reminder that something is “missing”. Take them out on a wall decor shopping spree.
What we have on our beds is rather personal. One of the very first things I did when my husband left was to change out my bed sheets. There are many reasons someone may do this from not wanting a reminder of their scent to not knowing where they have been. A fresh new set of sheets in a new color can help a lot!
I suggest you check out PeachSkinSheets as featured in this article.
Help With Legal Expenses
Your friend may not tell you but divorce lawyers are not cheap. Even in the most agreeable split, an attorney should be used. Your friend may be shying away from using one due to the cost and feeling helpless. Offer to help out if you can or put together a collection with friends and family to assist.
Yes, I realize it seems cliche but the truth is separation can wreak havoc on our bodies. Your friend may also be feeling frumpy or unattractive. Nothing releases the stress of divorce more than a good massage and some TLC. A new hairstyle can be empowering when they get a fierce new look!
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From personal experience, I can tell you the strangest feeling after being married a long time is the empty space on the ring finger. Even after the tell-tell indention disappears one keeps feeling a strange sensation like a phantom limb. Gifting your friend a new gorgeous ring to replace the wedding band can help! Instead of a wedding ring call it their Freedom Ring! A reminder that they have a fresh start.
Being creative helps mend our hearts and souls. My Word Of The Year is a direct reflection of what I am going through with my divorce. Help your friend with a word of the year to empower him or her. I am not the craftiest of person but I was able to create this symbolic piece that I keep over my desk. A simple but strong reminder of my new direction.
Full Body Pillow
When separation comes out of the blue as it often does, your friend may be feeling alone in the big empty bed. Even when marriage has been troubled, just knowing that someone was beside them was a comfort. A full body pillow is no replacement for the missing person in their life but it can bring a feeling of peace.
Help With Bills
Your friend may be too proud to tell you but the loss of their spouse’s income hits hard! Even if your friend has a good income of their own, their lifestyle will change drastically until legal fees are paid, credit cards and bank accounts are divided. Sometimes spending on bank accounts and credit cards is halted until the divorce is final. Expenses such as electric bills, cell phone bills, etc need to be divided while each person gets their own accounts. If their significant other is not willing to help or work on the division of these thigns it can leave your friend in a tailspin. Offer to help if you can.
Visit With Their Pets
When divorcing couples have pets the furkids suffer too. In some cases, the absent parent does their part to stay connected but not always. Courts have rules about human children but pets are left out of this legal aspect. Even in the case of human children we know all too often the system can not force the absent parent to do their part. If your friend has a pet that was used to a special Sunday drive with the absent parent maybe you can offer to take their place until the dust settles. Taking your friend’s pet for a walk can give the furbaby something new to look forward to while your friend gets some rest or catches up on other duties.
The Most Empowering Gift You Can Give Your Recently Separated Or Divorce Friend Is You!
Sometimes a divorcing person feels like people are avoiding them like the plague!
Yes, they will go through mood swings.
They may have one day they feel strong and ready to face the world.
Other days they may be sobbing in a pile of tissue.
Sometimes they do not want to discuss the separation at all.
Depending on their circumstances everyone deals with loss in different ways and in stages.
Please remember: Just because your friend is the “one who left” or the person who kicked their spouse out, does not mean they are happy about having to do so.
The ability to end something that is toxic takes strength and courage.
Make sure they know how proud you are of them for standing up for themselves.
You may also enjoy 10 Ways To Enjoy Being Single On Valentine’s Day
I would love to hear from you in the comments.
What ideas do you have for empowering gifts around Valentine’s Day for a recently separated or divorced friend?