Home » empowerment » Real Women: What Does That Mean To You?

The other day it almost slipped past my lips again…

The term “Real Women”.


I do not like that term and do not want to use it!

We are all real women.

Real Women What Does That Mean To You_

Sure some women wear wigs.

Some of us dye our hair.

Others have had “work” done.

Yet, we are all women.

We are all real women!

Whether we paint our nails ( not natural ), or we have had our eyebrows tattoed on.

These things do not make us fake women.

They are simply elements we have enhanced or altered.

I think whatever a woman wants to do to her body, be that piercing, or even a perm if it makes her feel good, it’s alright with me.

I mean we can get really nitpicky right?

We can be super hard on ourselves even more so when we hit midlife.

The last thing we should do is be hard on ourselves or others.

If we are to demean a woman for having breast implants why not demean those who wear Spanx?

I do love that recently some makeup brands are electing to let us know when airbrushing is done.

Have you heard about that?

I think it’s great!

Most adult women know this has been done for ages but young girls do not automatically know!

They grow up with a false sense of what a beautiful woman should look like.

I think being transparent is just fair.

Airbrushing is fake indeed and gives us a false sense of what we all should look like.

It’s true, even for us adults who know it’s airbrushed!

We still are affected so why shouldn’t younger more vulnerable girls be?

I can elect to go get pierced, hair styled, eyebrows done, nails did, tummy tucked.

We can decide to get our teeth whitened and get cosmetic dental repairs.

I can not elect to walk out my door airbrushed.

There is no reason to fault a woman for having Botox if we are not going to fault those who wear fake eyelashes.

Unless you are literally a woman who goes 100% all natural all the way, including no bra, then we should all be equally supportive of all women.

To those who do go 100% all natural, more power to you!

Real Women: What Does That Mean To You

I could never be part of a nudist colony though.

I am too shy, but hey clothing is not technically “natural” either is it?

You see, ladies, we are our own worst critics.

Yet we are also very critical of other women aren’t we?

I myself am critical at times too.

Of myself and other women.

Even after years of practice of not saying the phrase “real women” it still at times almost passes my lips.

It’s just human nature I suppose.

I write about self-love often on Fashion Beyond Forty but I thought it was time to write about loving each other as women.

We need to band together, strong and united!

Real Women: What Does That Mean To You?

When we stop putting others down for trying to lift themselves up we can all be a part of a larger, more powerful sisterhood.

Feel good about yourselves, natural or not because we have enough battles to fight out in the world.

If you want to dye your armpit hair – have fun and do it!

Want to put fur on your fingernails, go for it!

You are not hurting me or anyone else so don’t let people put you down.

Heck, I remember back when having a tattoo or piercing was ridiculed.

These days women who work in offices have them!

I am not saying that some of these fads will stick around.

It used to be that there was a whole aisle at stores full of perms for hair.

These days the only place to get a prem is at the beauty parlor or an actual hair salon shop.

And perms lasted for 2 decades!

The point is, we do a lot of cool things, a lot of silly things, and sometimes some really bizarre things.

All of this is in the name of self-expression and beauty.

Whatever you think is beautiful will make you feel beautiful and when you feel good that is all that matters.

Let each other shine in their own light and perhaps they will share that light with you.

What do you think?

What is too “out there” in your opinion?

Do you think that some things limit a lady from deserving the title of a “real woman?”

Let me know in the comments, I love to hear from you!

Real Women What Does That Mean To You_




  1. February 19, 2018 / 9:28 am

    I agree. Real Women is a crazy term because who isn’t real? Regardless of what we do to ourselves on the outside, it’s who we are in our hearts and minds that counts.

  2. February 19, 2018 / 11:23 am

    Honestly, when I hear the term “real” anyone, it brings to mind a very negative connotation. What does “real” mean anyway? In my mind, it means, “if you do what I perceive to be what a woman, person, man, etc. should do, you are a ‘real’ whatever.”

    • February 19, 2018 / 5:27 pm

      You said it Stacie!
      It IS a negative connotation indeed!
      I love the way you put it!

  3. February 19, 2018 / 12:01 pm

    You made some good observations. I really enjoyed your piece.

  4. February 19, 2018 / 1:41 pm

    I always think of real like normal. Like somehow the choices we make can make us any less real or any less human.

    • February 19, 2018 / 5:30 pm

      Good point of view. I think that is the way a lot of us are conditioned to see things based on our own “normal”.

  5. February 19, 2018 / 2:02 pm

    I have to admit I don’t like the term real women, as your right we are all real women. Our like and dislikes don’t define if we are or not, neither do our choices on the way we are.

  6. February 19, 2018 / 3:30 pm

    Everyone is a real woman to me. Everyone has differences, and that’s okay, it’s what makes us unique. I always tell my kids to be who they are, always!

  7. February 19, 2018 / 5:38 pm

    I thoroughly enjoyed this, thank you! It’s so important for us to support each other. Many times I have been asked if I’m a “real” woman, because I am transgender. I’ll never pretend my experience is exactly the same as every other woman… but whose is? I’m just a woman, a mom, a human being… who happens to be trans. That’s not all I am, but I am grateful to those who recognize that “a difference that makes no difference is no difference!”

    • February 20, 2018 / 1:29 pm

      Dawn thank you so much! First of liking my article lol but more so for sharing about your journey! I am so sorry people ask you that! I agree, I do not think ANY two experiences are the same. Even if two women go through the same situation how we process it, how we think, how we feel, how we act and react will be totally different! On top of that the others involved have influence over the situation – it’s never just about me, or you, or any one person.
      Sorry, I tend to get over analytical sometimes.
      Your comment made me smile and I wish you all the best! We DO need to stick together no matter who or how we are what we are!

  8. February 19, 2018 / 5:44 pm

    It’s definitely no one else’s business what you do with your own body. I don’t know why everyone is always trying to control everyone else, even though it has nothing to do with them and doesn’t affect them in any way…

    • February 20, 2018 / 1:31 pm

      Exactly Angie. I wonder if a lot of it has to do with boredom or just being unhappy with themselves.

  9. February 19, 2018 / 6:33 pm

    All women are real women. I think a woman that is true to herself is an honest, respectable woman. A woman that can laugh at her own mistakes doesn’t take life too seriously.

    • February 20, 2018 / 1:31 pm

      I love this way of looking at it Jenn! Humor sure can get us a long way in life!

  10. February 19, 2018 / 8:55 pm

    When I hear “real”, I think more down to earth and relatable, but it’s true, we are all real. So many interpretations.. real to ourselves vs. trying to be something we aren’t, real as in real natural vs. artificial enhancements, etc. I feel like a lot of people are ‘fake’ in that they are trying to be something they aren’t, or to fit in a group. Good question!

    • February 20, 2018 / 1:33 pm

      Good thoughts Marysa! I like looking at not real, or fake as you said, someone not being true to themselves! If getting “fake” nails done makes that person true to themselves then that’s a positive. It’s when being false or “fake” is a negative and is done to cause harm – that is not “real” in my book.

  11. February 19, 2018 / 9:54 pm

    I guess I never thought about that term, but you are right. Any woman is a woman, what they wear or don’t wear doesn’t change that. Whether they wear make-up or have had surgery etc. Because in the end who determines what is real and what is not. I really enjoyed your post!

    • February 20, 2018 / 1:34 pm

      Thank you so much Becky! Exactly – I think it is what is within our heart that matters most.

  12. February 19, 2018 / 10:56 pm

    Real women lift each other up and support each other. There should be no room for judgement. If you are judging then you are not supporting.

  13. February 19, 2018 / 11:05 pm

    Agreed! If you are a woman then you are a woman…no matter how you choose to live your life or what life experiences you have had or not had. I have’ thad kids and I’ve had work done but I still consider myself a real woman.

  14. February 20, 2018 / 9:40 am

    I never really let words bother me in the past but when I think about what that term actually means, I feel like I fit it. I am a real woman not because of my gender but because I am a real person, someone who is what I claim to be and happen to be a woman. lol

    • February 20, 2018 / 1:42 pm

      Thank you Melissa! I agree I tend to not let words bother me until I see them over and over on social perhaps and just feel the need to chime in lol.
      For me this is a big deal because a lot of times it comes down to bullying which is not acceptable in my opinion. Life is challenging enough without that.

  15. February 20, 2018 / 12:24 pm

    Such a great piece! I never actually thought of dying armpit hair before. While it sounds interesting, I imagine it would take a bit of upkeep as well.

    • February 20, 2018 / 1:43 pm

      I think the armpit hair dying phase is pretty much over. I mean I still see it now and then but for about a year it was “the thing to do” lol It was never for me but some of these younger ladies can get so creative which I think is pretty cool.
      I don’t have time for much upkeep myself – I do dye my hair and my roots are showing and probably will be for another month or so lol.

  16. Lisa Bristol
    February 20, 2018 / 3:31 pm

    I think all women are beautiful. I like to have a natural look and do not wear makeup unless it is a special occasion. I could never go to a nudist colony. I would not know where to look lol.

    • February 20, 2018 / 8:11 pm

      Haha me either Lisa. I would be very uncomfortable in one but I do like to wear light makeup and focus on skincare. So I am “semi-natural” lol

  17. February 20, 2018 / 3:37 pm

    When it comes down to it, we have our hands full with taking care of ourselves and families. We don’t need to be trying to nitpick others.

  18. February 20, 2018 / 3:38 pm

    I couldn’t agree with this more. I might not agree with what they choose to do to their body, but unless they’re my really close friend and I think they’re hurting themselves or something. I have no room to open my mouth.

    • February 20, 2018 / 8:16 pm

      Sheena thank you. Exactly as long as no one is getting hurt let people do as they will.

  19. February 21, 2018 / 6:17 am

    Very well said! It all start on loving and feeling good about yourself. We are all beautiful in our own little way.

  20. February 21, 2018 / 7:59 am

    I don’t mind other people’s business. They can do whatever they want with their body if that’s what makes them happy. For me, real women are those who respect other women or people in general.

  21. February 21, 2018 / 9:58 pm

    I just love this post! So many good points here. We are all real women.

  22. February 21, 2018 / 11:40 pm

    I can’t say I’ve ever thought this way but then again I’m not a man. I can totally see this happening from that point of view.

    • February 22, 2018 / 1:57 am

      Never thought of it from a man’s perspective – that’s interesting Jess! I hate to think what men think of all of this lol

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