To sum it up…The Reason Why I Deleted My Tinder Account…it’s too much work!

Okay first, I am aware I advised against using dating apps in my previous article: Why Did He Cheat?

I did not advise against using one because they do not work.

It was more due to believing there are better ways to meet quality people in the real world.

Yet, after suggesting this I decide to give it a try for myself.

I mean if I am going to suggest there are better ways, I should at least have first-hand experience.

Also, the investigative side of me had to know.

Another reason I even tried Tinder was boredom.

It’s been too cold to go out and do much of anything.

To add to that – I am in this in-between place where I am not sure if I really want to find someone or not.

Part of me just loves being home, nesting in my comfy bed, reading a great book.

So why did I delete my account after only 3 days?

Why I Deleted My Tinder Account In A NutShell:

Why I Deleted My Tinder Account

Surprise …. it was not due to only meeting creeps!

In fact, I met some seemingly nice guys.

Not to say I know for sure, as I never met any in person.

I did have lengthy chats with a couple however and really liked conversing with them.

There was one guy, in particular, I think I could have made a great connection with.

If not romance certainly as a friend.

Yet he lived three hours away.

I am sorry I have too much to do around here to be traveling or waiting for someone to show up to go out.

Still, those reasons are not really why I deleted my account.

Let’s take a closer look at this…

Why I Deleted My Tinder Account The Details:

1. Tinder takes time and dedication.

Too much work if you ask me.

I mean sure, if you are all out ready to get back into the dating game it may be perfect for you.

I was not, and am not.

Sure, if I happen to meet a nice guy, or run into a school friend who is currently single, I may decide to go on a date.

I enjoy my work, enjoy my pets, my home, and there is a lot to do around here that fulfills me.

Spending time on Tinder made me feel like I could be spending that time in better ways.

Messaging back matches when I could have been catching up on a television program!

That is a testament to my lack of dedication of finding dates in and of itself.

Sure, I could have made these guys wait.

Afterall, I do not owe anyone a message back right away.

However, I am one of those people who think it is rude to start something and not be receptive.

2. The process can be slow.

If you want the best matches you need to read each profile.

That is if they even fill one out.

I found many men who put in absolutely no information.

I swiped left or “no” instantly on these.

It takes some intuition, which I have plenty of but if you do not, you risk picking weirdos!

Looking at the photos to try to read into energy, determine if they are normal.

It’s just not a game I am interested in playing.

Why I Deleted My Tinder Account

Which one of the men in the image about would you pick?

Impossible right!

And why do they all have beards?

Just wondering…

They aren’t even real!

That is sort of how Tinder felt while using it.

3. Swiping on the right men matters and takes careful consideration.

As mentioned above you do not want to select the weirdos.

They do exist on Tinder, big time.

Some guys are very open about their eccentricities.

As bizarre as some of them can be, at least they get extra credit for being honest.

I’m not legally divorced myself.

I put that in my profile and was very honest about it.

Yet, I had to wonder, how many of these guys were not divorced and not being open about it?

It made me very concerned because I know my own estranged husband made a profile on Tinder.

I also know from speaking to one of the women he dated from Tinder that he was not very honest about his own situation.

People lie.

They at least tend to hide full truths on dating apps.

Perhaps they open up more fully once the date is made but in the meantime, you could be dealing with a whole different animal than anticipated.

The very last thing I want is to go out on a date with a guy who may be recently separated and his wife is totally unaware of the fact they are!

It happens.

It happened to me!

4. Tinder is more entertaining than valuable.

Why I Deleted My Tinder Account

Above I mentioned the weirdos.

It was not even the guys in an open relationship or those who are poly that I am calling weirdos.

That is a lifestyle choice and while it is not for me, as long as both partners are in agreement who am I to judge?

It was guys who discussed dressing their privates up in costumes that I refer to as “the weirdos”.

I really do not want to see your penis wearing a cardigan dude, sorry!

It was also entertaining when I was given a potential match of a guy who runs a small specialty shop I frequent.

That was a moment of awkward potential.

I had to chuckle because upon reflection he did seem to be flirting the last time I was in his store.

Some guys really do put a lot of thought into their profiles!

I really enjoyed reading about them and getting more insight into the mind of a man before getting back “out there” on the dating scene.

After being married a long time you tend to lose connection with the way “most men” think.

More often than not I felt like it would be fun to hang out with some of them but not so into the idea of dating them.

I found myself opening the app more often to waste time or fill voids.

This is not healthy!

If I have downtime or a void in my life I should be doing something that is going to promote the “me”.

Better organization of my daily schedule would provide healthier outlets for finding quality people to engage with.

Instead of putting off work until the evenings, I could get my work done by a reasonable hour and get out in the world where men really exist.

Grabbing the phone to open the app just seemed silly after a couple of days.

5. Tinder allows for you to select a distance ratio, but it is “off”.

Why I Deleted My Tinder Account

This means you can say you only want to be matched with guys within a 10 mile, or 50 miles or whatever radius is acceptable to you.

It does not work!

I was matched with a guy who lives in New York.

Ironically just one city over from where my estranged husband is from.

Many guys I matched with showed they lived 1 mile from me.

That felt creepy, to say the least.

The last thing I need is a new guy I am dating living on top of me!

Yet, after communicating with a few of these guys we discovered this was not the case at all.

Yes, the algorithm is off.

Even if it were dead on, however, would you want to eliminate a great guy simply because he lived a bit further away than you would like?

I mean if you met your dream man out at the grocery store and discovered he was only in town for a friends wedding, would you give up?

If he were that wonderful you may opt to at least stay in communication right?

On a dating app you eliminate before you even get the chance to meet based on distance.

Or you can set your distance to as far out as the app allows.

Do you really want to waste time on the app being matched with a guy you can’t even meet for coffee?

Would I have felt the same way about that great guy I matched with that lives 3 hours away had I met him in person initially?

You see it’s a double-edged sword on that one.

And none of it matters since the distance algorithm fails to work!

6. Can you really determine if you are a match based on a few hobbies and interests?

For me, this was the most frustrating aspect of Tinder.

You tell a little bit about yourself.

They tell a little about themselves.

You can write into your profile what you are looking for and so on.

I had a hard enough time writing my “about” page here on the blog with absolutely no character count limitations!

Can you really sum yourself up in a paragraph?

Why I Deleted My Tinder Account

How can you really know if you want to date someone based on their paragraph?

Its all about the little things that reveal themselves over time anyway.

Sure, you have to take the leap to get to the point of dating someone enough for those things to be revealed.

Yet, when on a dating app everyone by nature is super particular!

Extra guarded, very concerned with picking the best of the best, or at least the best of the worst.

It’s all about the looks when it comes right down to it.

I know for sure I can take a stellar photo.

On the other hand, some of my photos are horrible!

I have the advantage of taking photos all of the time and being able to choose the good ones.

It can be rather unfair to judge a guy based on a few photos he already sucks at taking.

Typical things people put into the profiles are:

“I like music, I enjoy nature, I can read.”

Oh really?

Wonderful, me too.

I guess that is why when I came across the profile of the man who said he enjoys putting a cardigan on his penis I was entertained.

Someone was at least either being totally honest or having a lot of fun with the app.

He was, at the least, original!

To decide if you want to swipe left or right on someone just does not feel natural to me.

I like to think I am deeper than that.

As I have matured I do not just go for the guy with the gorgeous smile.

Clear blue eyes and a nice body are no longer all it takes to attract me physically.

I am attracted to the unusual more than what is typically considered attractive.

That is if and only when the person’s character is intriguing!

Real people out in the real world can be highly attractive to me if they have a well-developed character.

Quality people, with quality thoughts, and a quality of being giving and honest.

Why I Deleted My Tinder Account:

To sum it up in the purest form possible.

It feels false.

No, it’s not because I am “older”.

It has nothing to do with not being able to handle an app or tech of today.

Human nature is more human than tech will allow.

If I rented a pool hall, dance hall, or conference room and filled it up with eligible men in a 25-mile radius how many matches might I get?

On Tinder, I matched up with over 70 guys!

Matches happen when both people swipe right.

I am sure there are plenty I swiped right on that did not swipe right on me in return.

Just as I probably swiped left on many guys who swiped right on me.

So let’s put those 70 mutual right swipes in a room together with me.

First, exhausting.

Second, really?

Am I going to connect on some level worthy of romance with all 70 of these men?


The fact is, if I truly had my heart into dating, I would probably go with a program like Match or eHarmony.

If you are just looking for a way to spend some time and potential entertainment value Tinder is the app for you.

Tinder is just a means to an end.

A way to narrow the scope.

The problem is, the scope is very blurry and ineffective.

Okay, let me know what you think in the comments below.

Let’s have some fun conversation!

Why I Deleted My Tinder Account



  1. March 8, 2018 / 11:29 am

    You are certainly brave to trust a dating site. I can understand also why you deleted your account.

    • March 8, 2018 / 7:33 pm

      Oh it was not too bad.
      Its not the site you have to trust – its the men ON it but I have met my share of creeps out in the real world over my years dating too.
      It all comes down to knowing how to ask the right questions and put in enough time to screen them.
      I just did not have the time or patience for it.
      I probably would not have the patience or time in the real world either lol.

  2. March 8, 2018 / 12:10 pm

    I’m glad you are sharing this. Although its been years since I even tried to find a man, I do wonder about some of these apps and the safety factor. It would be nice if we could count on people to be honest. I don’t understand people lying because sooner or later the truth will come out.

    • March 8, 2018 / 7:32 pm

      Gisele you are so right.
      I had some fun while I had it and I did meet a couple nice men – not in person but on the app.
      I just do not have the time or patience.
      So many other ways to go about meeting someone.
      I just need to get out of the house more lol

  3. March 8, 2018 / 12:12 pm

    I know of a few people who have used dating sites/apps in the past, and they all have echoed your sentiments. I am from the old-school thought: meeting people along your travels. It could be in a grocery store, laundry mat or at a sports event. I don’t blame you for deleting your Tinder account. I got exhausted at the thought of what you went through!

    • March 8, 2018 / 7:31 pm

      LOL thank you Audrey. I know my heart was not in it but you also have to have patience and time. I have neither of those things.

  4. March 8, 2018 / 12:46 pm

    My two takeaways from this post are that I’m so glad I don’t have to worry about online dating and that I might crochet up a cardigan for my husband. That just sounds hilarious. Maybe a scarf, too…

    • March 8, 2018 / 7:31 pm

      LOL!!!!! Stacie you are so funny – thank you I needed a good laugh. I am so glad you do not have to worry about online dating or any kind of dating!

  5. March 8, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    I have a couple of friends who just quit Tinder. They didn’t do it because of any freaky business either. They said it was just too much work.

    • March 8, 2018 / 7:29 pm

      It is – I think ones heart has to be REALLY into it plus you have to have patience and time lol two things I do NOT have right now.

  6. March 8, 2018 / 4:09 pm

    I don’t think you can truly know someone based on a paragraph. I think it comes down to spending time with a person and seeing what you have in common and even how you handle certain situations together. If a person brings out the best in you, I say they’re keepers. But all too often a person can bring out the worst in someone else. I’ve never done a dating app…that came about way after I got married.

    • March 8, 2018 / 7:22 pm

      Indeed Heather.
      Had my heart been more into it I am sure I could have eventually got to the point of meeting in person.
      I also agree 100% that some people bring the best or the worst out in us.
      I have been asked before if I would recommend dating someone I had dated – this was long ago – and I always said who they were with me may not be the same with you or someone else.
      Sure we have our core ethics, basic personality, character etc but when two become one things and people change.

  7. March 8, 2018 / 6:48 pm

    Sorry to hear you had a bad tinder experience. I know a lot of people who have met the love of their life through the app and a ton that are still unhappy. I don’t think the app is right for you! ‘you need to be comfortable . Love will find you when you are ready!

    • March 8, 2018 / 7:21 pm

      That is wonderful to hear Jennifer and for the record I do know one young couple – a friend of my daughter’s and her boyfriend who met on there as well. They were just recently engaged.
      I am not saying it is horrible at all but yes you do need to be dedicated to it.
      Like I said my heart was simply not into it enough for the time it would take to truly screen people and meet the best matches.
      I do agree 100% love finds us when we are ready and the time is right. 🙂

  8. March 9, 2018 / 5:38 am

    I met my husband online, but I’m thankful Tinder was not around then. It sounds so shallow.

    • March 10, 2018 / 1:47 pm

      I met my husband, soon to be ex, whatever we want to call him online as well. Not on a dating app however. It can and does happen and relationships work or fail regardless of how we meet.

  9. March 9, 2018 / 7:04 am

    Honestly, I don’t like dating apps. Call me old fashioned but if you’re bound to meet the love of your life, you’re going to meet that person no matter what. Tinder is just a place for people to find someone to sleep with, at least that’s how it’s been with friends who use it, I just feel like sincerity is not present in that app and the people who use it, at least most of them.

    • March 9, 2018 / 1:19 pm

      I think more often than not that is the case.
      Now in fairness, my daughter’s friend found a WONDERFUL man on there and they are getting married.
      I think dating is a crap shoot no matter what and I agree with you – finding “the one” is going to happen if and when it is meant to be.
      I think there is room for things like dating apps in the world but it’s simply not for me – or you either.
      I am with you on the old fashioned feeling.
      Being on an app loses that whole element of locking eyes from across a crowded room and all that romance lol

  10. March 9, 2018 / 7:33 am

    I 100% BELIEVE IN and STAND BEHIND Tinder! Because well, I met my husband on it! Back when we met on Tinder, 4 years ago, I feel like it was probably insanely different to what it is now. I haven’t looked a Tinder since the year he and I met, so I really have no idea what’s going on with it now but since it’s got this rep of being a HOOK UP APP – of course it’s not going to be all that good for finding someone who is actually decent. That being said, I have heard about a lot of people meeting their dream person on Tinder so it could in fact still work!

    • March 9, 2018 / 1:17 pm

      That is awesome GiGi!!! It may have been different and my daughter’s friend met her fiance on there too! It absolutely can and does happen!
      I am not one to judge since I meet my husband – granted whom I am separated from lol online as well. I do not think meeting online had ANYTHING to do with our marital issues.
      For me however, it just took WAY too much time and as I said in the article there are many things one has to do – or SHOULD do to make sure you are getting the cream of the crop.
      I am so happy for you GiGi you found a great one!

  11. March 9, 2018 / 11:42 am

    Having been married for 40 years, it amazes me about online dating. Still, I would give this a try before staying alone. I like to having a life partner too much.

    • March 10, 2018 / 1:48 pm

      I do too Terri although I am getting more comfortable with living on my own, being more independent. I am just taking time for me now.

  12. March 9, 2018 / 3:25 pm

    I met my husband online as well. When I was dating, tinder wasnt around but I did run into a ton of people who told lies and were probably married. Its sad. 🙁 Tinder sounds like it is all based on looks only.

    • March 10, 2018 / 1:49 pm

      It is yes at least initially UNLESS you are the type of person to look behind the curtain! I did not select only the best looking guys. As I get older I realize some men can be really attractive even if not in the traditional sense.

  13. March 9, 2018 / 4:11 pm

    Tinder for me was never a temptation anyway. I am glad to see that you just gave it up. I hear crappy things about it all the time.

    • March 10, 2018 / 1:50 pm

      I hear good and bad – mostly bad though yes but then again when I think about it, I hear mostly bad about any kind of dating lol. It was not worth the time regardless.

  14. March 12, 2018 / 10:04 pm

    Online dating is definitely a lot of work but worth it if you find the right one. I found my husband through a dating app!

    • March 12, 2018 / 11:12 pm

      Aweee that is awesome Jess! I mean trust me, I am all for online dating and meeting people online. That is how I met my soon to be ex and not to take away from that due to him being an almost ex either. Not be sarcastic at all. Online is really no different as far as getting to know someone in person. If someone is going to lie, be a jerk etc it takes just as long to figure that out in person as it does online.
      I just did not have the patience for online – at least not at this point in my life. It was exhausting lol.

  15. March 17, 2018 / 6:22 pm

    These are all valid points! For me, the main reason was that you couldn’t really tell the “vibe” of a person purely through the screen – they might have had great chat while texting, but it could be a completely different story when you meet them face to face! Thus, it was a bit frustrating if you had high hopes for a person and then had no chemistry in real life!

    Maria | London Fashion Blogger

    • March 19, 2018 / 11:52 pm

      Maria that is a very valid point! I never got to the place of meeting in person so did not have any take on that aspect but I totally see what you are saying! You really can’t get a vibe unless you met in person! You also got me thinking, what if you really loved talking to someone and they ended up having bad breath or body odor lol. Thank you for bringing this to light!

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